I lie because I don’t know what kind of truth to tell you
“MEN LIE AND I DON’T KNOW WHY. THEY JUST DO.”
That’s what I said when I was sitting with a man watching a show about male and female relationships. The woman said “He is a compulsive liar.” The man said “I lie to spare her feelings.” I laughed because I have heard this line before. Charlie Sheen said to his very thing on the show Two and a Half Men. Charlie Sheen’s character was schooling the young kid on how men need to protect women. The man beside me said:
“I LIE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF TRUTH TO TELL YOU.”
He further clarified his point by saying: “Should I tell part of the story? Can I tell her in a way she can understand? Once I know a person I know the best thing to say for her sake. Some people call it manipulation but it’s really helping the person. It’ll all be the truth if it comes from me. It may just sound different than what I tell someone else.”
So, he lies we he doesn’t know a woman well and he lies when he knows a woman well. Either way his lies are for the best–her best. Extraordinary, that’s what I think, an smaxama justification for dinner. Opinions, anyone?
There are unexpected signs that he is not going to show up. Here is one of those signs–vulgar language.
Hooker Life Hacks: World’s newest everyday wisdom from the world’s oldest profession, by Caroleena, Ivy League Educated X-Streetwalker
Wednesday, January 30, 2019, 11:02 a.m. Hawaii Time
Hooker Life Hack #15–One For Sure, Yet Surprising, Sign he is totally lying when he says he is going to meet up with you
When you are making plans to spend time with a male there are signs that he will not show up at the appointed hour. I was surprised to learn through experience that when I was in the process of setting up appointments through a phone call or text, the man did not intend to show up if he used vulgar and sexually explicit language. I had imagined that if it was unspoken but understood that we would engage in adult behavior, I should reasonably expect suggestive or even lewd language from the male as a sort of warm up. I thought, "we are going to do something x rated so he is getting warmed up bad language." I was wrong. Any time a man uses sexually explicit language outside of s sexual situation, he is being disrespectful. The language shows he has a low opinion if the woman with whom he is communicating.
This lesson is one I had to learn from experience because I never would have imagined that sex talk before a sexual encounter was a bad sign. Maybe it is because we didn't know each other. Outside of the encounter, with its physical intimacy, the interaction was still sort of formal because we are not friends. Hmmm...something to ponder.
100% of the time a man used vulgar, sexually explicit language when he texted or spoke on the phone with me to make plans to meet, he was being dishonest. He always stood me up, without notice.
0–The Number of Men who Showed up for appointments after using foul language toward me in texts or over the phone. ZERO
Explicit language has an appropriate time and place but if he uses this language to set up an x-rated rendezvous, he is not serious about following through with the plans. After all, keeping appointments is a form of respect and his purpose for making contact is to enjoy verbally abusing a provider, not to spend time.
The take away action recommendation: politely correct his language by saying you are standards for phone contact that you follow. There was one, yes only one, instance when the man did not realize how he sounded and he accepted my correction by retracting his comment with an apology. The rest of the times my gentle corrections about foul language were ignored . The men did not truly intend to meet up, but wanted the chance to talk down to a woman. Do not let him (or anyone under any circumstance) convince you that you deserve to be spoken to with vulgarity or that you should expect lewd talk because of what you have done or what you are willing to do. No good ever results from allowing someone to speak to you disrespectfully. Be sure to set the proper example with your own manner of respectful speech!