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[ In the writing below you will find confidently stated opinions that I express as though they are facts. My statements are not evidence based but experience based. My experience is, naturally, limited to little me. I cannot back up what I say with any proof. Still interested in reading my thoughts on men & lesbianism after reading that disclaimer? Be my guest. I just encourage you to be aware of the author’s point of view, especially when reading online.]

Men like lesbianism. Not bc they accept their own exclusion from sex but bc they imagine that they do, or could, have a role in all female sexual situations. For many men women are, primarily or exclusively, sexual beings who exist for men’s pleasure. A typical man wants lesbianism to be about him.  He visualizes women he finds appealing putting on a sex show with each other for his benefit. That is why men often look at each other knowingly when the topic of lesbianism arises. They know how those same sex unions would suit them.

A second way our average guy defines lesbianism is: two or more women cooperatively working on him or for his sexual pleasure. Lesbianism has nothing to do with women’s relationship to each other outside of how well they cooperate to satisfy him.

Men do not accept Lesbianism if it means their sexual exclusion. In it’s purist form men’s exclusion is a prerequisite.  Therefore your average guy doesn’t accept female homosexuality any more than male homosexuality. It’s just that your average guy cannot fit sexually unavailable women into his thought process. The big exception is, of course, incest. But even female relatives pass quickly through the filter of sexuality when men think “no way, that’s my mom, sister, daughter, etc…”


Sexually unavailable women are irrelevant and invisible to the average guy. In order to grasp lesbianism as a reality men must make it about them, thereby changing it’s truth into a false ideal.





According to studies, the #1 sexual fantasy for men and women is the same: two women.

My Psych 101 Professor, 1991